The Dating Game
by SoldierG65434-2
Summary: /Sequel to Going Once, Going Twice, SOLD!/The Shingami Women Association plans another fundraising event, this one involving Yoruichi.


**DISCLAIMER:** The rights to all copyrighted material mention henceforth in this document are owned by their respective owners.

This fic is a direct sequel to "Going Once, Going Twice, SOLD!" Please read that before you read this, as you will be lost if you don't.

As with the above, this was a request from siyentista. Give her "Art of Transformation" a read.

Don't worry about Hitoshi. I have plans for him the future. He hasn't disappeared.

The site was fucking up when I posted this, so if anything looks odd, that's why. Please let me know.

Those of you who are regular readers of mine and are capable of patter recognition should be starting to see reoccurring themes in my works.

* * *

Yoruichi lay sprawled out on a mat inside the Kuchiki estate in a small annex that Byakuya himself most likely didn't know about. The estate was so huge, and Byakuya kept to his room for the most part.

Which is why the Shinigami Women's Association had chosen this particular room as its new spot for its regular meetings.

Lifting the cup in the hand up to her mouth, Yoruichi sipped on the mint tea that Unohana had been so kind to brew for them. Propping herself up on one of her arms, Yoruichi looked around the room at the other inhabitants.

Isane and Nanao were chatting away about something. A few feet away, Unohana seemed to be telling a story that had Rangiku and Yachiru equally enthralled.

That left one person. Out of the corner of her eye, Yoruichi could see the very inviting lap of the Captain of the Second Division.

Sitting up, to dispel any temptation she had to move her head to those thighs that Yoruichi new for a fact were more comfortable that the fluffiest of pillows, Yoruichi stretched out her stiff muscles.

"Did you enjoy your nap, Yoruichi-sama?" Soifon asked once she realized that Yoruichi was awake.

"Yeah," Yoruichi yawned, her eyes glinting mischievously. "But that mat is so uncomfortable. Would you mind rubbing my shoulders for a bit? There so stiff."

"Uhhh…S..sure, Yoruichi-sama." Soifon stammered as she scooted closer the caramel-skinned woman. With bated breath, Soifon slowly raised her hands to Yoruichi's shoulders and began to knead the muscles though the fabric of her jacket. Soifon was glad Yoruichi was facing the other direction. It made it easier to hide the furious blush creeping across her cheeks.

With a contented sigh, Yoruichi took another sip from her tea, which Soifon had been gracious enough to pour for her. Part of her felt bad for taking advantage of Soifon's sense of obligation like this, but the rest of her was okay with it. Besides, it wasn't like she was going to muster up the courage to bare her soul to the other woman any time soon, especially after their sushi lunch a few months ago, so these back rubs and small kindnesses would have to suffice for now.

Yoruichi shuddered unintentionally at the thought of that sushi lunch that she had shared with Soifon. It had been excruciatingly awkward.

Shaking her head to get rid of the images of her spilling soda all over Soifon, Yoruichi concentrated on the hands that were delicate easing the tension in her shoulders.

"Are you alright, Yoruichi-sama?" Soifon asked. She had noticed Yoruichi shiver momentarily and wondered if it was because of something she did.

"Yes, yes!" Yoruichi waved of the concern. "I'm fine. Please keep going." Yoruichi said as she relaxed into Soifon's touch. Yoruichi couldn't see the frown that spread across Soifon's face.

Soifon couldn't help but notice that Yoruichi had been acting rather oddly as of late. Her normally graceful movements and mannerisms were now pop-marked with acts of shocking clumsiness. And her speech, which normally flowed so effortlessly and sagaciously, now almost sounded forced.

And there were times where Soifon had caught Yoruichi just staring at her. Yoruichi would quickly look away whenever she noticed Soifon had picked up on it, which made the act all the more unnerving.

But, Soifon abided by all of this, because the fact that Soifon had picked up on so many odd things meant that Yoruichi was spending enough time around her for her to recognize them, and that was always a reason to celebrate.

All the heads in the room snapped to the sound of an opening door. In the threshold, Nemu stood holding a large stack of papers.

"Hello, Nemu," Nanao greeted the pseudo life form. "I see you brought the results from our latest survey."

"Yes, Madame Vice-President." Nemu said automatically as she handed the papers to Nanao.

"So, who will it be this time?" Rangiku said eagerly.

Ever since the widely successful auction the Shinigami Woman's Association had held for a date with Soifon, the Association's inbox has been flooded with letters wanting to know who would be the next member up for bid. And again, Nanao decided to put out a survey to find out who would fetch the highest price.

"Let's see," Nanao shuffled thought the papers. "It was pretty close this time, but it looks like Rangiku…"

"I knew it! Men just can't resist my charms!" Rangiku stood up triumphantly.

"…lost out to Yoruichi-dono." Nanao finished.

"Really?" Yoruichi and Rangiku asked simultaneously.

"But why?" Rangiku pouted.

"I don't know. All I have are the results." Nanao replied. After reading the answers about Soifon on the last survey, Nanao decided it would be wise to remove the "comments" section from this one.

"Relax," Yoruichi turned to Rangiku. "Cougars are the in thing right now." She smiled slyly.

"So, we'll hold an auction for an evening with Yoruichi-dono next month." Nanao put the papers down. Even though Yoruichi wasn't a part of the Gotie 13 anymore, she had been spending enough time with the Association as of late to make her a de facto member.

"Hold on a second, don't I get a say in this?" Yoruichi sat up straighter.

"You offered you name to be put on the survey." Nanao shrugged.

"But I'm not comfortable with being auctioned off." Yoruichi replied. "Reminds me too much of those arranged weddings that my parents shoved me into."

"It's just for a date," Rangiku waved. "Soifon managed just fine as she a bigger stiff than you could ever be." Rangiku paled a little at the deathly stare Soifon shot her.

"I have a better idea." Yoruichi snapped her fingers. "Auctions will get stale, we need to switch things up. In the World of the living, there are these game shows where people ask questions to strangers that are hidden behind a curtain or wall, and they pick a date based on the answers they give. We could do that instead."

Yoruichi's mind raced with the possibilities. She could talk to Soifon up until the big day about who she hoped she would get to pick from, all the while dropping ever so subtle hints about the kind of person she's into.

"Yeah, I remember watching one of those when I stayed with Orihime." Rangiku commented. "But how will we pick the bachelors?"

"We could hold a raffle." Unohana interjected.

"And charge for tickets!" Rangiku finished happily. Her mood always improved when it came to taking men's money. "Ooh! And we can even charge for tickets to watch the dating game!"

"But what do we advertise the date as?" Nanao asked.

"Hmmm," Rangiku thought about it for a moment. "Bowling!"

"Bowling?" Nanao asked confusedly.

"Yeah! It's a game in the World of the Living. We can charge even more for tickets because it's such an exotic experience!" Rangiku clapped her hands together.

"Where are you going to get a bowling alley?" Yoruichi asked.

"We still have a ton of money left over from Soifon's auction, we could build one." Unohana interjected, herself familiar with bowling.

"I don't know…" Nanao hesitated.

"Think of it as an investment." Unohana continued. "After the date, we can open the alley to the public. It could be a constant source of revenue for the Association."

"Well, if you think it's a good idea," Nanao shrugged. "I'll begin the paperwork for acquiring land in Rukongai to build this…bowling…alley." Nanao turned to Soifon. "Do you have anything to add, Taicho?"

"No, nothing, Soifon replied through gritted teeth. Mentally, she patted herself on the back for not losing her cool during the meeting. The thought of Yoruichi being sold off for a nigh absolutely infuriated her, but the idea that Yoruichi would be choosing someone to spend the evening with, someone that wasn't her, infuriated her even more. Soifon had dedicated her entire life to Yoruichi's service and she wasn't worth of such an honor, what made anyone else?

Yoruichi frowned at the response. Where was the outrage that Soifon usually showed when Yoruichi spent time around people Soifon deemed "unworthy?"

"Then we are adjourned." Nanao said officially. All the woman got up and began to disperse.

"Come on, Soi," Yoruichi said, grabbing Soifon's wrist. "I need you to impart your wisdom on me, since you've done this before." Yoruichi lied. Any excuse to be around Soifon.

* * *

Isane, Yoruichi, and Rangiku stood in front of an ever growing mass of people. The only thing separating the women from the growing mob was a small stable with a large roll of tickets on it. Supported on two polls attached to the table was a banner that read "Win a chance to compete for an exotic night of bowling with Yoruichi Shihoin!"

"What's the hold up?" One man shouted at the three women.

"Patience," Rangiku chided. "Tickets don't go on sale until noon." Just as the Rangiku finished the sentence, the massive clock tower near the center of the Seireitei struck twelve. Instantly, the mod started flinging money towards the women.

"Easy, easy!" Rangiku started to take the notes and put them into a lock box while Isane feverishly ripped off tickets and handed them out.

"Remember, more tickets equal a higher chance of winning!' Yoruichi winked. This whipped the mod into a frenzy. Some were buying ten tickets at a time.

Though Yoruichi was smiling outwardly, she wasn't nearly as enthusiastic as she appeared to be. The only reason she was playing along at all was because she thought it would annoy Soifon. She had a habit of railing against anyone that she though unworthy of Yoruichi's attention.

Though Yoruichi acted annoyed whenever Soifon went on about how spending any time with her was "an honor" and how they "should be more grateful for such a privilege," Yoruichi actually liked the attention.

But Soifon wasn't acting like she normally did now. Whenever Yoruichi brought up the impending date, Soifon would just grumble about how it "was for the good of Association."

Sighing, Yoruichi frowned slightly. Soifon was right, they were bringing in a ton of money, and Yoruichi couldn't start acting disinterested now.

"I'm sorry!" Rangiku shouted to the now angry mod. "We are out of tickets! You'll have to come back tomorrow!" Quickly, Rangiku closed the lock box, which had notes sticking out the side form how haphazardly it was packed, and the three women ran off, bounding off of rooftops as the stand was over run.

"Over ten thousand kan!" Rangiku squealed as they fled. "We made over ten thousand kan in less than an hour! And we're going to do the same thing tomorrow!" She turned to Yoruichi. "That wink drove the crazy! Do it again tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure." Yoruichi nodded. Keeping up with Isane and Rangiku required Yoruichi to move almost painfully slow.

"If this keeps up, you're going to shatter Soifon's record." Rangiku's mind was racing with the possibilities that all that money could afford.

* * *

Scowling harder than usual, Soifon stomped her way towards a growing crowd within the Onmitsukido compound.

In the middle of the crowd stood Omeada, holding up between his thumb and index finger a large stack of tickets.

"That's right! Twenty tickets!" Omeada shouted to the crowd. "Yours truly is almost guaranteed a shot with Yoruichi!"

"How did you afford so many tickets?" One man asked him? "I hear the prices go up daily."

"Easy," Omeada pointed a thumb to his chest. "I'm rich."

"You're so lucky," Another man sighed. "I wish I had that type of money to blow."

"What is going on here?" Soifon asked irritably as she shouldered her way to the front of the crowd.

"Uhhh..nothing, Taicho." Omeada stammered, quickly hiding the tickets.

"What was that you were just holding?" Soifon stepped away from the crowed so that now she and Omeada were encircled by the mass of people.

"N…nothing, Taicho." Omeada took a step back from the woman.

"Those were tickets for the raffle to that preposterous dating game, weren't they?" Soifon scowled. Omeada shook his head. "Let me see what's behind your back." Soifon held out her hand. Reluctantly, Omeada handed over his tickets.

"Just as I though." Soifon snatched the tickets away. Effortlessly, she tore all the tickets in half at once and threw them into the air. "Let that be a lesson to all of you!' Soifon turned to the crowded around her. "If I find out that any of you bought tickets of your own, then I will personally dispose of them myself. Our job is too important to spend our time slacking off and chasing after women, do I make myself clear!"

Omeada hesitantly, Omeada opened his mouth to speak, to point out the hypocrisy in Soifon's words.

"I don't care what cause the money goes too, the Women's Association will sell more than enough tickets without the Onmitsukido's contribution." With a collective groan, the crowd around her dispersed.

Furtively, Soifon looked around her. Confident that there was no one around to see her, she quickly dropped to her knees and began to feverishly stuff all the pieces of the tickets she could find into a pocket of her haori.

She didn't actually think she could win this date, and she didn't know what she would do if she did. How would it look for a woman of her rank to be on a dating game? And what would Yoruichi think?

However, she would be damned before Omeada had even the slimmest chance of winning that date.

* * *

The rest of the week transpired in a very similar manner. The Woman's Association would set up a ticket booth somewhere in the Seireitei, and within minutes of them opening, they would be sold out.

"Four hundred thousand kan." Rangiku said disbelievingly as he finished counting the money for the hundredth time. "We made over four hundred thousand kan in a week."

"That's pretty impressive." Isane said as she prepped the intercom system. The two women were in the Fourth Division compound. They were about to announce the raffle winners, and the Fourth Division was the only Division besides the First that had an intercom that reached everyone.

"Impressive? That's insane!" Rangiku replied. "Think of how much money we could have made if we kept selling tickets for another week."

"I think it was wise to quit while we were ahead." Isane said as she took a seat behind the microphone. "People got pretty mad at you last price increase, I don't think they would have put up with another."

"Maybe." Rangiku shrugged. "Well, it's not over yet. We still get to sell tickets to the dating game. There's going to be limited seating, so we can charge even more for them!" She beamed.

"Do you have the winning tickets?" Isane asked. Rangiku handed over the three tickets that she had selected at random.

"Are you ready to make a ton of men very upset all at once?" Rangiku asked a now pale Isane.

* * *

Soifon sat behind her desk, filling out her usual daily paperwork load. However, she was not as focused as she normally would be. Constantly, her eyes were flicking over to the small clock on the edge of her desk.

Today was the day that they were announcing the winners.

Soifon didn't know why she was so anxious. Even though she was in possession of twenty tickets, thousands of them had been sold. The odds of her having a winning number were slim, at the very best.

The clock struck six and, right on time, Soifon heard the crackling of the intercom.

"G…Good evening, everyone." Isane stammered for everyone in the Seireitei to hear. "I am going to announce the winners of the Shinigami Women's Association raffle. These three individuals will win a chance to compete for an evening of bowling with none other than Yoruichi Shihoin." Soifon pulled the tickets she had taken from Omeada out of her drawer. She had meticulously tapped them together.

"And now, for the winners," Isane continued. "56248, 85375, and 12468. If you have a winning ticket, please report to the main Auditorium on the seventeenth at four o'clock. That is all." The intercom went dead, but Soifon didn't hear, nor did she hear the collective groan of defeat that rang through all the barracks after the last number was read off. All that she heard was the second number.

Soifon read the ticket in her hand over and over again, as if the number on it would magically change.

"I won," Soifon mumbled to herself quietly. Then, the actuality of the occurrence hit her. "I won!" Soifon shouted as she stood up abruptly. Suddenly, the triumphant grin that had been plastered to her face melted away.

_What do I do?_ Soifon wondered as she began to pace her office franticly. _I can't go to that game show. Everyone will know it's me. I'm a Captain, it's unprofessional!. Worst of all, Yoruichi will know, and that's not how I want her to find out about how I feel. _Soifon suddenly switched the direction of her pacing.

_But this is a once in a life time opportunity! I can't just ignore it. Come on, there has to be something I can do about this! _Soifon racked her brain frantically.

As she paced her quarters, feverishly searching for anything resembling a plan of action, Soifon heard a knock at her door. Angrily, she slid the shoji open.

"What? What do you want?" Soifon answered the door irritably.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Taicho." A young man wearing the standard Onmitsukido uniform and face mask knelt before her. "But I have the mission report from the Seventh Division that you requested." The boy offered her up a manila envelope.

"Yes, thank you." Soifon replied, more calmly as she eyed the boy's attire, her mind formulating a plan.

* * *

Cautiously, a short boy entered the Seireitei's Auditorium. He was a little late, and he hoped that there wouldn't be any consequences.

Nervously, the boy made his way to the stage, where there were three four stools, three of which were separated from the fourth from a high partition. There was already someone seated on one of the stools.

"Can I help you?" Rangiku turned as Nanao pointed the boy out to her.

"Uh, yes." The boy answered in a deep voice. "I'm here to compete for the date with Yoruichi."

"Let me see your ticket." Nanao answered. The boy fumbled for a moment, the produced the ticket form a pocket of his Onmitsukido uniform. "This is a winning ticket." Nanao confirmed, then handed him a form. "I'm going to need you to fill out this form." She handed him a pen as well.

The form only requested very basic information, like name and future aspirations. The boy filled out the form and handed it back to Nanao.

"Congratulations, Ryo." Nanao said as she read over the paper. "Please take a seat on stage." Ryo nodded and climbed the stairs up onto the stage.

"I thought you Onmitsukido guys weren't allowed to participate in this." The man already seated on stage greeted Ryo.

"I had already bought my ticket before Soifon Taicho issued that directive." Ryo replied gruffly as he sat down. "My names Ryo."

"Masaru, from the Eleventh." Masaru retuned the greeting. Ryo took a seat on the stool next to him. "That's an awfully long pony tail you have their, pal." Masaru commented as Ryo turned around to take his seat. Though most of Ryo's face was concealed, a long braided pony tail stuck out from under the bandana around his head.

"It's part of a bet." Ryo answered hurriedly. "You know how us guys can be."

"I feel you." Masaru smiled knowingly. "One time, at the Academy, I lost a bet and had to shave a strip down my head." He ran two fingers though his short, brown hair, indicating where the strip he had to shave was. As Masaru finished his story, the third candidate stepped up on stage. A woman with fiery red hair cut in a bob sat down on the stool next to Ryo.

"Can we help you, miss?" Masaru asked the woman.

"'What, do you little ol' me is lost?" the woman gave Masaru her best doe-eyes. "You make me sick."

"So your here to compete for the date with Yoruichi?" Ryo asked, a little stunned.

"Nowhere did it say that women were excluded." The woman crossed her arms defiantly. "I have just as much right to be here as you do."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean you have the same chance of winning as us." Masaru replied.

"What do you mean by that?" The woman raised an eyebrow.

"Please, Yoruichi looks like the type of woman who likes a strong _man_." Masaru smiled.

"Please," The woman waved him off. "The woman turns into a male cat! How much more blatant can she be?"

"Anyway, I'm Masaru and this hear is Ryo." Masaru introduced himself and his new friend.

"Charmed." The Woman replied sarcastically. "I'm Yumi." She offered her hand for a shake. "You don't talk much, do you, Ryo?" She said as she shook his hand.

"I don't believe in mincing words." Ryo replied.

"Do you plan on wearing that face mask the whole time?" Yumi asked.

"Soifon-taicho hasn't given me permission to break uniform." Ryo replied. People were starting to fill up the seats in the Auditorium.

"What a stiff!" Yumi laughed. "The way you Onmitsukido guys talk about her makes her sound like some terrifying demi-god. If you knew some of the stuff that I've heard about her, I don't think you be so quick to revere her."

"Such as?" Ryo asked angrily and Nanao started testing the microphones.

"Let's just say that word on the street is that she's not exactly the straightest arrow, if you catch my drift." Yumi replied mischievously.

_So, my habits aren't that much of a secret anymore_, Soifon though, glad that the face mask hid her scowl.

It always amazed Soifon just how little effort it took to disguise one's appearance. A change of uniform and a face mask, and a new hair style and no one recognized her.

Soifon had already had a naturally deep voice for a woman, so it wasn't that difficult for her to throw it deeper, further disguising herself. Add a pair of colored contacts, some padding to square off her shoulders, and a bracelet from the Twelfth that masked her reiatsu, and she was now Ryo.

"Good evening, everyone." Nanao greeted the now packed auditorium. "Before we get started, I would like to introduce the prospective candidates who will be vying for the affection of Yoruichi tonight." Nanao shuffled some papers in her hand. "Bachelor number one hails from the Eleventh Division and loves fighting and red meats. Please welcome Masaru Tanaka." There was a loud, boisterous cheer that most likely came from a group of his close friends.

"Bachelor number two is a new recruit to the Onmitsukido who one day hopes to become a seated officer. Pleases welcome Ryo Fujiwara." There was a polite applause from the audience.

"And last, our only female contestant. Bachelorette number three comes from the Third Division and has aspirations for Captaincy. Please welcome Yumi Kondo." Yumi was greeted by an equal mixture on emphatic cheers and harsh heckles. She greeted both with a haughty glare.

"And now, for the woman of the hour, please give a round of applause to Yoruichi Shihoin." Nanao introduced Yoruichi and left the stage. As Yoruichi removed the ear plugs from her hears that ensured that the people behind the partition would remain a secret, she was almost floored by the volume of the cheers for her.

She hadn't realized that she was that popular. She had assumed that most people had forgotten about her.

A delusional part of Yoruichi had hoped that Soifon wouldn't be able to stand the thought to her going out with someone other than her, and that she would come in and whisk her away before any of this even happened.

At least Yoruichi was self aware enough to realize that it was a delusional fantasy. Soifon didn't seem to mind any of this at all, which left Yoruichi with the task for figuring out which of these three anonymous strangers she would have the least horrible time with for an evening.

"Settle down," Yoruichi said into her microphone. "We won't get anywhere if you spend the whole time cheering for me." Yoruichi looked down at the index cards she had in her hands as the crowd settled down. On them were suggestions for question she should ask to the bachelors.

"Let's start off with an easy question." Yoruichi started. "Bachelor number one, what color do you think describes you the best?"

"That's easy!" Masaru answered immediately. "Red, because it's got a lot of energy, like me."

"So, you think you have enough energy to keep up with me?" Yoruichi asked flirtatiously.

"I could go for days." Masaru replied to the cheers of his friends. Behind her face mask, Soifon scowled at the man's impudence.

"Bachelor number two." Soifon's heart jumped as Yoruichi spoke. "There is only one donut left between the two of us, how do you split it?"

"Uhhh…" Soifon hesitated. "I would give the whole thing to you." Soifon answered to the snickers of the crowd.

"The gentleman, I see." Yoruichi said approvingly.

"You should have said down the middle. The crowd would have loved it." Masaru whispered to Ryo.

"No! That's just vulgar!" Soifon replied with horror.

"I know. that's why they would have loved it." Masaru answered.

"Bachelor number three…" Yoruichi began.

"Actually, it's _bachelorette_ number three." Yumi interrupted.

"A woman?" Yoruichi replied, a little surprised. Then she smirked. "As a member of the fairer sex, how fairly would you treat me?"

"I would treat you like the princess you are." Yumi replied, smiling devilishly at Masaru, whose jaw was about on the floor. "I think we both know that there are just certain things in life that require a woman's touch."

"I most certainly agree." Yoruichi replied salaciously, even though she had yet to experience a woman's touch. The crown went berserk with cheers.

"Bachelor number one, what's your ideal first date?" Yoruichi asked her next question.

"Sparring, no doubt." Masaru answered confidently. "There's no better way to get to know someone that to cross swords with them."

"Are you certain you are in the right place?" Yumi interjected. "Because I'm sure there are some men in the Eleventh who would love to _cross swords_ with you."

"Errrggh! That's not what I meant and you know it!" Masaru pointed angrily. The crowed erupted in laughter.

"Bachelor number two," Yoruichi shuffled the cards in her hand. "We're out hunting hollows and one lunges for me. Now, I'm a big girl, capable of defending myself. What do you do?"

"Just because you can defend yourself doesn't mean you should have to." Soifon answered, her throat becoming a little sore from making her voice so deep. "I would do my best to defend you, regardless you your abilities."

_That sounds like something Soifon would say_, Yoruichi though to herself. She shook her head slightly to get rid of the thought.

"Bachelorette number three," Yoruichi shuffled her cards again, disinterested in the whole affair because she had already made up her mind. "Do you prefer cats, or dogs?"

"Cat's, most certainly." Yumi answered. "There's nothing quite like petting a _pussy_…cat." Yumi welcomed the cheers as Ryo glared at her.

The rest of the questions proceeded in a very similar manner. Yoruichi could ask the most innocuous of questions, such as "are you left you right handed", and the two people on either side of Soifon would twist it into something obscene. And every time Soifon answered her question in a non-vulgar way, she was booed or heckled for being a "wimp."

Yoruichi finished up her last round of questions and Rangiku came up on stage.

"So, have you made your decision?" Rangiku said as she took the stage. "Who will you be taking with you for an evening of bowling at the band new bowling alley in upper east Rukongai?"

"Let me think for a moment." Yoruichi crossed her arms and tapped her chin with her index finger thoughtfully.

_Number one is just a typical guy. Not much to say about him. A little too arrogant for my tastes. _Yoruichi contemplated._ Number three is a girl, which is a plus, but she's too crass, nothing like Soifon. Number two, at least, reminds me of her. He seems like a sweet enough guy. _

"Well, it was a tough choice," Yoruichi lied. "But I'm going to have to go with Bachelor number two." The crowed started booing instantly. "What can I say?" Yoruichi shrugged. "I'm a sucker for the nice guys."

"Bachelor number two, get you lucky butt out here." Rangiku summoned the winner. Cautiously, Ryo stepped out from behind the partition.

"You and Yoruichi are in for a treat." Rangiku said to the two. "You two will be the first to play on East Rukongai's newest hot spot, which is owned and operated by the Shinigami Women's Association, before it's even open to the public! It will be a real Human World date, complete with pizza and beer!"

"Sounds like fun," Yoruichi said as her eyes kept flicking over to the young man next to her. There was an odd aura of familiarity about him.

* * *

Yoruichi stood outside of the Rukongai bowling alley, tapping her foot. Ryo was over ten minutes late. Becoming a little impatient, Yoruichi was relieved to hear the sound of rapid footsteps coming her way.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Ryo huffed. "I had difficulty sneaking out, and I haven't begun my shunpo training yet, so I had to hoof it the whole way."

"Sneak out?" Yoruichi asked.

"I haven't accrued any time off yet, since I'm so new, so some of the older members had to help me sneak out." Ryo's breathing evened out.

"Rebellious, I like that." Yoruichi smiled. "Come on, let's go inside." Ryo followed Yoruichi into the bowling alley.

The truth of the matter was that Soifon was late because she was having a crisis of conscious. She didn't know what to do with herself now that she had won the date. Part of her wanted to come clean and tell Yoruichi that it was her, but she was too scared to.

Would Yoruichi be made at her for lying? Would Yoruichi leave because the date wasn't what she expected? Soifon didn't know how Yoruichi would react, so she decided it was best just to play along and scope things out.

The inside of the bowling alley was exactly what Yoruichi expected; rows of wooden lanes and racks of large, heavy bowling balls. Away from the lanes were tables and chairs that were used for eating.

"So, how does this game work?" Soifon asked Yoruichi in her falsely deep voice.

"Basically, you throw theses palls don that lane and try to hit the pins." Yoruichi explained. "The person who hits the most pins at the end of ten round wins."

"Sounds simple enough." Soifon replied ass he picked out a bowling ball. Yoruichi picked out one of her own and took her spot at the beginning of the lane. Yoruichi swung the ball back and rolled it down the wooden alley. It veered to the left and only hit one pin.

"It's been a while since I last played, and I wasn't even good then." Yoruichi shrugged as she retrieved the ball from the automatic retriever. She rolled the weighted sphere down the wooden lane again with better results. She struck five this time. "It's your turn."

Soifon stood up and took her ball in her hand. Unsure of how hard to throw the object, Soifon decided to ere on the side of caution. The ball traveled down the lane almost comically slowly, but struck several pins at the end.

"Are you going to wear that mask the whole time?' Yoruichi asked as Ryo readied himself for another toss.

"If Soifon-taicho does happen to come upon us, I want to at least look like I'm working." Soifon replied.

_He's such a stickler for protocol_, Yoruichi though to herself, _just like she is._

"Don't worry." Yoruichi replied. "If we do run into her, I'll vouch for you." The pair played two frames in silence before the alley's cook came up to them with some glasses, a picture of beer, and a large cheese pizza.

"Here you go, it's on the house." The large man said as he put it down on one the table next to them.

"Thank you." Yoruichi said as she took a slice for herself. "Go ahead, take a slice." Yoruichi offered on to Ryo.

"I have a feeling that you will appreciate the dish more than me." Soifon refused. She would have liked to share the meal with Yoruichi, but that would require her to remove her face mask. Something she could not do.

Carefully, Yoruichi poured herself a glass of bear.

"I'm a real light weight," Yoruichi stated. "So I'm relying on you to make sure I don't drink too much."

"Understood." Soifon nodded.

"Now, tell me," Yoruichi began as she wiped some grease from her hands. "What made you want to spend the money to get here?"

"Well, as you could probably tell from the audience," Soifon began, blushing a little behind her mask, "You are a very desirable woman."

"So you're here because I'm pretty?" Yoruichi asked.

"No! It's more than that." Soifon clarified. "You're a fascinating person, and there are a lot of rumors floating around you. I was hoping to get the truth about you."

"Rumors? Like what?" Yoruichi asked curiously.

"Well, first and foremost, there is a lot of speculation about the depth of your relationship with one Kiuske Urahara." Soifon was proud of herself at how neutrally she said that man's name.

"Me and Kiuske?" Yoruichi asked in disbelief. "People think we're a thing?" Ryo nodded. "Well, things between me and Kiuske are…complicated, but not romantic. I'll just leave it at that." Yoruichi took a sip of beer. Internally, Soifon breathe a sigh of relief.

The two played several more frames, chatting idly about the game. Yoruichi continued to sip away at her glass of beer until it was empty. She promptly refilled it.

"I do have another question." Soifon asked after a while.

"Go ahead, shoot." Yoruichi responded, her speech a little slurred.

"What, exactly did you do during you exile?" Soifon asked, using this opportunity to ask the questions she didn't have the courage to herself.

"Well, it wasn't a vacation, I can tell you that much for sure." Yoruichi leaned back in her chair. "Basically, when I wasn't checking up on the Vizards and Kiuske and Tessai, I was soul searching."

"Soul searching?" Soifon asked incredulously.

"Yep," Yoruichi answered. "Even before I was out of my mom, my whole life was planned for me. Who I was, what I would do, when I would do it." Yoruichi listed. "Then something unexpected happened. I was thrust into the real world, and I didn't have any idea who I was. For the first time, I was living my life, not the last name. And, to be honest, it was a little scary. It was frightening to be thrust into a strange new world and not have an identity of your own. Sure, I was a bit of a tease and a flirt back home, but that was about it. The rest of my life was just business."

"And, what did you find out about yourself?" Soifon inquired.

"To be honest, not much." Yoruichi shrugged. "The most substantial thing I found out about myself is that I'm a tease and a flirt because I'm bad with my emotions, and I use that to cover that fact up."

"I see." Soifon said thoughtfully.

"Sorry if the real me isn't as interesting as the rumors." Yoruichi said as she stood up and took her bowling ball in her hand.

"That's not the case at all!" Soifon replied. Her throat was starting to get sore. "I find this side of you much more interesting. The rumors made you sound more like a God than a person."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure there are some people who still think of me as a God." Yoruichi smirked at the thought of the woman with twin braids.

"There's one more thing I would like to ask you." Soifon mustered up the remainder of her courage.

"What's that?" Yoruichi turned to Ryo.

"If not Urahara, then who? Surely you can't be single." Soifon asked, dreading the answerer.

"Well believe it."Yoruichi replied. "This woman hasn't been caught by anyone yet." Yoruichi smirked. "But there is someone that I've had my eye on."

"Really, who?' Soifon asked, unsure of why she did so. This line of questioning could only end in heart break.

"Can you keep a secret?" Yoruichi sat down clumsily next to Ryo.

"I'm in the Onmitsukido, that's my job." Soifon replied.

"I don't know if it's the alcohol in me, or if it's that fact that you remind me so much of her, but I just feel so comfortable talking to you." Yoruichi said, seemingly on a tangent. "Okay, here it goes…Soifon."

"Whaaaaa…?" Soifon eye's shot wide open and her heart started pounding in her chest.

"I know, it must be surprising that I could have fallen for someone so seemingly distant and unfeeling," Yoruichi admitted, "But she's a real sweet heart once you get past her cold, prickly exterior. And I don't think I have to tell you how hot she is."

Soifon was barely listening to what Yoruichi was saying. Her head was spinning and her hear was racing. She could feel herself starting to break out in a cold sweat. She was struggling to keep her breathing under control, lest she hyperventilate.

_That's why she's been spending so much more time around me?_ Soifon thought frantically. That's why she's been so awkward and clumsy when I'm around. _That's what's why I've caught her staring at me and she's asked for so many massages? Because…because she…she likes me?_ She was struggling to wrap her mind around the sudden revelation.

After a few moments of deep breathing while Yoruichi bowled, Soifon collected herself enough to interact with the woman again.

"Why…haven't you spoken to her about your…feelings?" Soifon struggled to remain even.

"Like I said before, I'm bad with my emotions. Not only that, but Soifon's a very passionate person." The images of their reunion on Sokyoku hill replayed in Yoruichi's mind. "The idea of awkwardly confessing something like that to someone so passionate scares me. Not only that, but I really hurt her in the past. Part of me thinks she would use it as an opportunity to get back at me."

"I don't think I…she…." Soifon fumbled for a moment.

"Plus, I don't even know if she feels the same way." Yoruichi sat down. "I mean, she blushes and stammers a lot when I'm around, but that could mean anything!"

"I'm sure if you just talked…" Soifon began, but Yoruichi cut her off.

"Let me put it to you this way. I paid for the winner of that date with her a few months back so I could use Hitoshi as spy to find out information about her. Rigged to poor boy up with microphones and cameras and everything." Yoruichi smirked. "I spent three hundred thousand kan to find out that she liked sushi. I could have just asked her that! But I couldn't bring myself to do it."

The pair finished up their game and paid their complements to the chef. In the end Soifon won, but not by much. Their scores were almost comically low and Yoruichi's inebriated state didn't help matters.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." Yoruichi said after they were outside the alley.

"I guess." Soifon replied, trying her best to stay calm. The shock of the news she heard to night was transforming into pure jubilation.

Suddenly, Yoruichi started to lean towards Ryo's face with pursed lips.

"What are you doing?" Soifon took a step backwards panicked.

"I'm giving you a good night kiss." Yoruichi replied innocently.

"T..that won't be necessary." Soifon assured.

"Nonsense! If Hitoshi got one, then so will you." Yoruichi leaned in again, but Soifon stepped back. The two began to struggle with each other. Soifon was trying desperately to get away, while Yoruichi was trying desperately to remove Ryo's face mask to that she could plant a sloppy wet kiss on the boy's cheek.

Eventually, Yoruichi managed to get one of her fingers in the face mask.

"Ah ha!" Yoruichi said triumphantly. "Now I finally get to see…your…fa…ce…" Yoruichi's voice trailed off as she realized that she was looking at a very horrified looking Soifon. "S…Soi?" Yoruichi asked in disbelief.

"Yes, Yoruichi-sama." Soifon replied.

Yoruichi's breath became short as her checks flushed deeply. Completely at a loss as to what to do with herself, Yoruichi did the one things she's good at; she ran, leaving a dejected Soifon in her wake.

* * *

Soifon sat behind her desk in her office. Though the sun was shining and the birds were chirping, Soifon's mood was hardly as chipper.

The look on Yoruichi's face when she realized that she had been with Soifon the whole night seemed burned into Soifon's memory. It was the look of abject terror.

Soifon didn't understand. If Yoruichi had feelings for her, then why did she look so distressed when she found that that he was actually she?

And what was worse was that Yoruichi seemed to be avoiding her now. It had been a week since that date, and Soifon hadn't seen any sign of her.

Soifon was shaken out of her thoughts by a timid knocking at her door.

"Come in," Soifon beckoned disinterestedly. She was surprised to see Yoruichi slide the shoji open.

"Yoruichi-sama?" Soifon said as if she didn't believe her eyes.

"Hey,' Yoruichi replied shyly. "Sorry about waiting so long to talk to you about… that night." Yoruichi started. "I know you're busy, so it was on me to get things rolling." Yoruichi rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. "I was just so mortified, having told you everything when I thought that you were someone else, that I could stand the thought of speaking to you again." Soifon opened her mouth to reply, but Yoruichi continued.

"But then I realized that you went through all the trouble of disguising yourself to go out on a date with me. That means something, right?" Yoruichi asked hopefully.

"Yes, that mean _a lot_," Soifon replied, smirking slightly. The two women stood there in silence, neither knowing what to say next.

"So…" Yoruichi drew out the word. "Where does that leave us?"

"How about we start by going out on a real date." Soifon replied with more confidence that she anticipated. "One without spy cameras or disguises. That seems like the logical place to begin."

"Yeah," Yoruichi smiled, breathing a sigh of relief. "I'd like that."


End file.
